"He stroked my labia, his childlike fingers traced the curves of my asscheeks, circled my waist, grazed the bodice of my dress, he sniffed myneck, stroked his fingers through my hair. The circle of business guysignored him, but their dates glared at us, eyes flashing envy."Don't worry about them, they're all on the payroll." Me too?" Unless you're fired."We both laughed, but his steely gaze showed he meant it. He handed me aroom key for a penthouse suite, and I picked at five courses of dinner,exchanging furtive glances with my beady-eyed host, bracing myself formy moment in the boardroom. He and I were the only ones who joined themany jubilant toasts with Pellegrino instead of the free flowing winethat enlivened the party.My Turn As ApprenticeThe suite was nearly as large as my mom's boyfriend's Bel Air mansion,but garishly decorated with faux Roman statuary and mosaics. Ishowered, douched, and moisturized, retrieved a shimmering silk teddyfrom the bottom of my purse, and toured. He didn't know what he saw. He didn't know why his stomach leapt, whyhe felt suddenly weightless. He was too young; all he could do was letthe feelings tsunami over him.But when he finally felt normal, he knew one thing. Somehow, he knewone thing. He was only five, he didn't yet have the words for it, butsomehow, he knew it: Never tell. Never, never, never tell. Never tell.Never tell anyone.********************************************************************Six years later, and another drive-in movie, in another state andanother town. He is big enough now to sit outside the car on a lawnchair. He can follow a plot. He has no idea what the movie is going tobe, but he can read. The movie title comes on: Goodbye, Charlie.The plot is simple, fantastical. Charlie is a no-good woman chaser. Heis shot by a jealous husband and...is reincarnated as a woman. Theentire movie is about a man who is now a woman.Never tell. Never, never, never tell. Never tell. Never tell anyone. Hetries to act as.
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